Wednesday, April 27, 2011

38.5 weeks

Well, I’m 38 ½ weeks pregnant and didn’t think I’d still be pregnant. Since I’ve been dilated, effaced, and having contractions for 3 weeks, I was pretty sure Baby was going to be making his debut sooner. The last 3 weeks were rough for me emotionally and I’m not entirely sure why. I am just tired and sore and feeling out of sorts.

Something that bothers me that I will have to remember when friends and family members are pregnant is that people keep telling me when I can and can’t have the baby. Everyone keeps saying, “oh, you can’t have him on ___ day because I’ll be out of town” or “you have to have him on ___ day, I just know you will.” For some reason, that has become really irritating and I think its because I actually take it to heart and start to stress out when the day comes that I’m either supposed to or not supposed to go into labor. I think its time to turn off the people pleaser side of my personality.

I’ve been stewing again about having an epidural or not. My whole life I’ve said I don’t want to have one. Billions of women have had babies without medication. Epidurals can slow down labor and are linked with an increased chance of having to have a c-section, which are two reasons I don’t want one. But then I start wondering if I’ll really be able to do it without an epi. I have fibromyalgia and worry that I’ll just lose steam and not be able to finish. I feel like there isn’t a right answer and am praying that I’ll just know what’s right when the time comes. Just don’t tell me that I “don’t get a medal” for doing it without an epi. I’m not doing it for a medal so leave me alone (can you tell I’ve heard that one a lot?)

Wow, this entry has turned into a rant. I’m really not as bitter as I may have come across. I’m just tired and want to meet this kid!

1 comment:

Abby Wilkinson said...

It will all happen the way it is supposed to happen and you are going to be great! Epi or not. Sorry you are in so much pain. I think of you and pray for you often. You are going to be a wonderful mother. I am proud of you.