Monday, April 8, 2013

Hurry Sickness

I learned an important lesson last Monday. My mom watches the boys on Mondays and it was my second week back to work and I was running really late. My chest was tight from stressing out about trying to get us all packed up (it takes so much planning and STUFF to get ready for the day!) and out the door. I felt like I couldn't breathe because I hate being late…

I got the kids to my mom’s and was racing out the door to drive to work. Liam was playing with some blocks and said, “Mommy, sit down please. Play blocks.” I hesitated for a second and then said, “Sorry, baby. Mommy has to go to work.” I hugged him and kissed him and left. And sobbed, I mean blubbered, the whole way to work.

What an awful feeling! I was sad the whole day and missed my boys. When I got back to my mom’s I told her how sad I was all day. She told me that there is nothing so important at work that couldn't wait for me to sit down and play blocks with my kid for five minutes. I would have saved myself a day of heartache by just sitting down for a few minutes. And after a few minutes, Liam would have been done with me anyway and ready to do something else.

I love my boys so much and want to do what’s best for them every day. I hate it when I mess up but I’m learning and re-learning that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. I want to learn from my mistakes and be a better parent and one way to do that is to slow down and soak up the precious moments with my kids.

There is a chapter in the book, The Good and Beautiful God, that talks about “hurry sickness.” I have hurry sickness. I don’t want to pass it on to my kids. My prayer is that I will seek the Cure every day instead of losing myself in the midst of hurry.